People Savvy for Sales Professionals

FOR
Sales Professionals
LEAD THE FIELD. FOUR SECRETS FOR GETTING INSIDE YOUR
PROSPECTÕS HEAD AND HEART AND CREATING CUSTOMERS FOR LIFE.
GREGORY STEBBINS, ED.D.
SAVVY BOOKS
Marina del Rey, CA
© Gregory Stebbins Ed.D.Author Online!
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© Gregory Stebbins Ed.D.1: TRUST
YouÕre feeling pretty good about yourself. You just had a meeting
with a new customer and things really clicked. The customer liked
you, she heard what you said about your product, and she was
favorably impressed. She didnÕt actually say so; however, you
know, based on the connection you felt with her, that you will get
the sale.
A week later, you hear through the grapevine that the customer
placed her order with your competitor. Your confidence is shaken.
How could such a good sales call, with such good rapport, go
so bad?
YouÕre about to find out.
How Do You Spell Sales? T-R-U-S-T
At the heart of all positive customer relationships is an intangible
quality called trust. Over the years, we have examined the concept
of trust with hundreds of top producers. As they have looked
deeply at their experience, they consistently conclude that lack of
trust, more than any other reason, prevents sales from closing.
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Knowing how to develop trust is absolutely essential to building a
stellar sales career and is the foundation of everything in this book.
While trust means different things to different people, qualities
like dependability, loyalty, and honesty are building blocks that
encourage a sense of trust.
Most often, we trust someone when we have confidence that they
are going to keep their word. IInn bbuussiinneessss tteerrmmss tthhaatt ttrraannssllaatteess ttoo
ttrruussttiinngg aannootthheerr ppeerrssoonn iiff wwee hhaavvee ccoonnffiiddeennccee iinn tthheeiirr aabbiilliittyy ttoo
ddeelliivveerr oonn tthhoossee pprroommiisseess tthheeyy mmaakkee ttoo uusstthhaatt hhaavvee ppoossiittiivvee
eeccoonnoommiicc iimmppaacctt ffoorr uuss.. Economic impact can mean anything from
giving the customer a financial edge to making them look good in
front of a superior, which may affect their job evaluation. WhatÕs
more, we have a better shot at establishing trust if a customer
believes the relationship with us is going to last over the long term.
YYoouurr rreeppuuttaattiioonn aass aa ssaalleess pprrooffeessssiioonnaall iiss aa ccaappiittaall aasssseett. Your
reputation for being trustworthy (worthy of trust!) is something
you build over time with consistent positive performance.
However, it can be ruined in an instant with a single negative
event: a missed deadline without telling the customer in advance,
not delivering on a promise you made to a customer.
Who Will Trust You If You DonÕt Trust Yourself?
The foundation for earning the authentic trust of others is an
innate trust of yourself. This inner trust is a cornerstone for
creating customer relationships. Ask yourself, ÒDo I trust myself?Ó
Now ask yourself, ÒDo I keep my word with myself?Ó If both
answers are Òyes,Ó you have a solid foundation for building trust
with others. If youÕre not keeping your word with yourself, then
you may not have a very deep level of self-trust, and that can
erode your efforts toward building customer trust.
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© Gregory Stebbins Ed.D.Trust
The skills outlined in this chapter are focused on building trust
with the customer. They can also be used to develop greater self-
trust. In both cases, you win.
No Trust = No Sales
WeÕve been told that no matter what you do, few customers buy
from a person they donÕt believe to be trustworthy.
If you are untrustworthy, you still might make a sale if you are the
only available supplier for a specific product or service and the
buyer actually must have it. Or you might get a sale if the buyer is
impulsive. You can also temporarily trick someone into making a
low- or no-trust sale. However, you cannot build a career on such
an unstable foundation. If you want to develop enthusiastic
customers, repeat business, and profitable relationships, you must
earn your customersÕ trust.
Trust is expectation, hope, and a sense of being able to predict
future eventsÑat least in relation to you and your behavior. Trust
is mutual and reciprocal. Creating trust depends on your
perception or interpretation of a person or a situation.
With trust comes vulnerability, comfort, willingness to risk, and
security. There is also a sense of reliance and confidence.
One of our clients told us, ÒWhen I have felt heard and
acknowledged, thatÕs when I begin to trust the other person.
Being listened to creates a feeling of safety.Ó Another client said
that, to him, it is vital to have a non-threatening environment, so
trust can only happen when personal (psychological and physical)
safety is guaranteed.
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© Gregory Stebbins Ed.D.PeopleSavvy
As you develop the ability to support these experiences in your
prospects, you will gain their trustÉand their business.
Rapport vs. Deep Trust
There are two aspects to trust. The first is rapport and the second
is deep trust. RRaappppoorrtt aanndd ddeeeepp ttrruusstt iinnfflluueennccee tthhee ccuussttoommeerr iinn
ssiimmiillaarr wwaayyss,, yyeett tthheeyy aarree vveerryy ddiiffffeerreenntt iinn ppoowweerr aanndd iinnfflluueennccee
wwhheenn iitt ccoommeess ttoo cclloossiinngg tthhee ssaallee..
You can build rapport very quickly with another individual,
whether itÕs on a customer call, at a cocktail party, or waiting for
a bus. And it is possible to persuade another person to buy
something from you when there is mutual rapport. However, iiff aa
ttrraannssaaccttiioonn wwiillll hhaavvee ssoommee ssoorrtt ooff mmaajjoorr eeccoonnoommiicc iimmppaacctt ffoorr
tthhee ppeerrssoonn mmaakkiinngg tthhee bbuuyyiinngg ddeecciissiioonn,, rraappppoorrtt wwiillll nnoott bbee
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© Gregory Stebbins Ed.D.Trust
eennoouugghh ttoo ccaarrrryy tthhee ddaayy.. If you want to win bigger orders and
repeat business, you need to know how to gain deep trust.
The distinction between rapport and deep trust is often missed by
inexperienced salespeople. Understanding them both will put you
in a stronger position to increase your record of sales successes.
RRaappppoorrtt has three parts: compassion, connection, and
credibility. Think of each of these as a building block in the
foundation of your successful sales career. With a strong
foundation, you can build very successful customer
relationships. Without the foundation, the relationships are
fragile. Another way of saying this is that with a solid
foundation, you can build reliable future sales. With a weak
one, future sales are likely to be hit-or-miss.
DDeeeepp ttrruusstt also has three parts: competence, commitment, and
consistency. The taller the building, the deeper the foundation
required. The greater the economic impact of the sales, the deeper
the trust required.
HereÕs how you lay a solid foundation and build a strong structure
for your career as a sales professionalÑno matter where in your
career you are.
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© Gregory Stebbins Ed.D.PeopleSavvy
Rapport: Compassion
Why would compassion be a component of rapport, which is in
turn a component of trust? Because trust implies that you
genuinely care about your customers, their concerns, their
challenges, and their goals. Your customer is, after all, another
human being with thoughts and feelings.
Why should you care about their feelings? For the most important
reason in the world: Because the customer has feelings about you.
If they donÕt feel good about you, it will impact their trust in you
and will have direct consequences on your sales success.
Developing compassion opens you to greater possibilities. When
you think only of yourself (or your sale), your ability to see
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© Gregory Stebbins Ed.D.Trust
clearly narrows and you miss opportunities that could otherwise
be obvious to you. For example, when visiting a customer and he
is distracted, do you notice? Do you keep on making your
presentation to a person who is obviously Ònot homeÓ? Or, do you
suggest that he seems to be focused on other things and it might
be best to reschedule the presentation for another time? If he
agrees to rescheduling, he will remember your being
compassionate with him and next visit heÕll be much more open
to you and your ideas.
Compassion is a process that works chiefly in the unconscious
mind. Many sales training books include lessons about how to
influence another person. The problem is, the approaches these
books offer are generally based on only a superficial
understanding of what the process of influence consists of.
Consider that, rather than focusing on influence as the method,
there is a much stronger influence that is really the result of being
compassionate. Genuine compassion is a more authentic form of
influence. Wherever there is compassion, some influence will
naturally be occurring.
How & Why Compassion Works
Have you ever noticed that two people talking together tend to
take on each otherÕs gestures, tones of voice, and general physical
ways of expressing? ItÕs a fact, and it is quite understandable:
According to the principle of compassion, it is impossible for two
or more people to engage in genuine conversation without
approximating each otherÕs mannerisms.
Compassion is a deep state of identification in which one person
feels so connected to the other as to temporarily lose their own
identity. It is in this profound and somewhat mysterious process
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that understanding occurs and then influence takes placeÑnot as
a manipulation, but as a natural, positive result.
Sometimes, the result of genuine compassion can be surprising.
I met with the VPof marketing for a medium-sized
aerospace company to discuss some work they were
considering hiring me for. The VPand I hit it off rather
quickly and he liked what we were talking about. The
president was in the office that day and the VPwanted to
bring him into the conversation.
As soon as the president walked in, it was obvious that he
would have been happier to be somewhere other than in
that room with us. In fact, it was quite clear that he wasnt
fully there with us, that something was on his mind.
He sat down without shaking my extended hand and looked
down at the floor. So I sat down and looked at the floor and
asked him, What do you want to know about our
discussion? His response was to put his head in his hands.
Here before me was a powerful and successful man, and at
the same time a very feeling person who was having
some great challenges in his life. They could have been
business or personal, I didnt know. I saw that my
immediate sales job was to be compassionate with him. It
wasnt directly about making the sale; it was about
establishing rapport so there could possibly be a sale.
Assuming his physical posture, I re-asked the question,
What do you want to know about our discussion? After
an uncomfortably long pause, he started talking about his
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© Gregory Stebbins Ed.D.Trust
business. While he talked, I sat perfectly relaxed, letting
my eyes focus on the same piece of carpet that his were
on. I permitted myself to become absorbed in his story. I
was so completely engrossed that I was unconscious of
our physical surroundings and was aware only of this
man�s concern, his quavering voice, and the fascinating
human drama he was describing.
He told me how he had created the business and built it up
from nothing. During this moment I felt the pride that was
in his voice, as though I, myself, was responsible for
creating the business. He spoke of the glory years and how
it seemed everything he did made money. And as he
described this feeling of invincibility, I experienced a
euphoric feeling, as though the feeling had been my own.
Then this man spoke of how much the business world had
changed in the last two years and how his company was
losing contracts. He spoke of how frustrated he was trying
to figure out how to make it work. He said that he was
looking for a successor to take over his business since his
son had shown no interest. I could feel his sense of disap-
pointment with his son as if the boy had been my own son.
As a sales professional, I had become so absorbed in his
story that his emotions had temporarily become my
emotions. I actually felt his feelings of euphoria and
desperation as he succeeded and struggled. In the
moment, they became my own experiences.
This partial identification was so real that, when I
commented, my voice took on the same hesitant,
quavering quality of his. The reality is, in this deep sense
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© Gregory Stebbins Ed.D.PeopleSavvy
of compassion, he and I were, for all intents and purposes,
one person at that moment.
At the conclusion of the conversation he finally looked up
at me, blinked, and extended his hand for a handshake. As
he was leaving the room, he told the VP, This is the first
guy you�ve had in here that really understands our
problems. The VPwas astonished and wanted to know
what I did, as the president never spent more than five
minutes with anyone else before leaving the room abruptly.
What I had done was practiced genuine compassion. As a result,
not only did I create a positive impression with the president of
the company, but I also earned the confidence, leading to trust, of
the VP, the individual who would be making the buying decision.
This is the power of compassion. It means entering the private
perceptual world of your customer and becoming thoroughly at
home in it. It involves being sensitive, moment by moment, to the
changing thoughts and feelings that flow through your customerÕs
mind and emotions. It means temporarily living in their life, moving
about delicately without making judgments or trying to manipulate.
It involves taking on their postures and gestures, not as a tech-
nique, but as a means to deepen your understanding of their world.
Why bother to go so deep? Because the more fully you understand
your customer, the better you can anticipate and address their
needs. And when you address their real needs, you are well on
the road to building the kind of relationship that can mean solid,
repeat sales.
Compassion begins with unconditional acceptance. To successfully
merge with your prospect, you temporarily lay aside your own
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views and values in order to enter their world without prejudice.
In some sense, it also means that you lay aside your agenda. By
doing this, real understanding between the two of you can take
place. With this understanding, rapport is initiated and the seed of
trust is sown.
Your ability to be compassionate is not related to your intelligence
or ability to diagnose your customerÕs problems. Diagnosing your
customerÕs problems without compassion comes off as clinical
and cold. With compassion, your prospects open up and begin
revealing concerns, hopes, goals, and desires they may never have
communicated before. And these will assist you in assisting them,
both in their deeper need now and in the long run.
Of course, when customers begin to open up and tell you whatÕs
going on with them, you need to know how to listen.
I Know You Heard What You Think I Said
There are many different forms of listening, each producing a
different type of response from the customer. For example, most
sales professionals are good at fact-oriented listening skills. These
skills would include comprehending what the customerÕs often-
superficial needs are and evaluating your companyÕs ability to
fulfill those needs. They may or may not serve to establish trust.
There is another form of listening, called compassionate listening,
that, when genuine, will support the trust-building process.
CCoommppaassssiioonnaattee lliisstteenniinngg integrates an attitude of curiosity. When
we listen compassionately, we are fully available and present for
the customer. We have no preconceived notions about whatÕs
going on with them. We are not busy rehearsing our ÒpitchÓ or
planning how to respond to what they might say. We are not just
waiting for a moment to break in and interrupt. We do not care if
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we are right and they are wrong. We have no need to defend
ourselves or to prove ourselves brilliant, insightful, or witty.
We do have a burning desire to understand the essence of this
person in this moment. We are pure awareness, soaking in the
wordsÑand going far beyond the words to be in a place of fully
resonating with the customer.
Compassionate listening is a way for you to help your customer
explore a problem that may not even directly involve you. It is a
way of listening and responding to another person that improves
mutual understanding and trust. Compassionate listening
encourages the surfacing of information and creates a safe
environment that is conducive to collaborative problem-solving.
Through compassionate listening, the listener lets the speaker
know, ÒI want to understand your problem and how you feel about
it; I am interested in what you are saying and I am not judging
you.Ó In so doing, the listener encourages the speaker to express
fullyÑfree of interruption, criticism, or being told what to do.
Through the use of compassionate listening, you can influence the
sales call by your:
¥ willingness to let the other parties dominate the discussion
¥ attentiveness to what is being said
¥ care not to interrupt
¥ use of open-ended questions
¥ sensitivity to the emotions being expressed
¥ ability to reflect back to the other party both the substance
and feelings being expressed
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When you listen well, you:
¥ acknowledge the customer
¥ increase the customerÕs self-esteem and confidence
¥ communicate to the customer, ÒYou are importantÓ and ÒI
am not judging youÓ
¥ gain the customerÕs cooperation
¥ reduce stress and tension
¥ build teamwork
¥ elicit openness
¥ accomplish a sharing of ideas and thoughts
¥ obtain more valid information about the customer and
their needs
The bottom line is that you encourage trust.
Premature agreeing, disagreeing, offering solutions, or presenting
another point of view can abruptly stop the compassionate
listening process. It is essential that you not let your premature
opinions block your own ability to fully listen. Suspend agreement
or disagreement with your customer as long as possible.
Otherwise, you may say something that will stop the continued
exploration of your customerÕs needs.
How do you know when you have ceased to listen
compassionately? Here are six signposts:
1. YYoouu ssttaarrtt ggiivviinngg aaddvviiccee or suggesting ways to fix the
customerÕs problem. During the initial stages of rapport
Ðbuilding, you have not established credibility or
demonstrated competence. While your solutions may be
accurate, they will often fall on deaf ears.
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2. YYoouu bbeeccoommee iimmppaattiieenntt.. Your attention drifts and you subtly
communicate disinterest. When you realize that youÕve
begun to think about anything other than the person sitting
in front of you, you are no longer demonstrating
compassionate listening.
3. YYoouu iinntteerrrruupptt the customer and start asking a lot of fact-
based questions. There is a time for these types of
questionsÑthis isnÕt it. If you interrupt during this stage of
rapport-building, you give the impression that you are
ÒgrillingÓ the customer and you break rapport.
4. YYoouu cchhaannggee tthhee ssuubbjjeecctt and turn the spotlight onto yourself
by relating stories about your company or your successes.
Fulfilling your own needs this early in the rapport-building
process causes the customer to perceive you as shallow and
only interested in yourselfÑeven if your illustrations are
relevant to the customerÕs problem.
5. YYoouu ddiissccoouunntt tthhee ccuussttoommeerrÕÕss ffeeeelliinnggss.. Customers may
unconsciously share deep feelings, especially when they
sense that they are really being listened to. If you find
yourself trying to gloss over these feelings by saying, ÒItÕs
not that bad,Ó or ÒYouÕll feel better tomorrow,Ó you risk
losing the customer in that moment.
6. YYoouu mmoovvee iinnttoo oonnee--uuppssmmaannsshhiipp.. YouÕll know youÕre doing
this when you start to say, ÒThatÕs nothing. Listen to this!Ó
Compassionate listening will carry you a long way on the path to
building genuine compassion, and compassion carries tremendous
psychological power. It is impossible to accurately sense the
perceptual world of another person unless you value that person
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and their world (i.e., engender compassion). Compassion
dissolves separation, allowing your customer to feel valued, cared
for, and accepted.
By practicing compassion, several clear, yet powerful, unconscious
messages are sent: ÒYou and I have a lot in common. I think like
you do. I have needs like yours. I am like you in many important
ways. I understand you. You are safe with me.Ó These are the vital
messages that support a customer in moving toward greater trust
with you.
Rapport: Connection
When you first meet another person, your initial decision about
them is often based on whether you think you like or dislike
them. This reaction is generally based on personal bias.
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If a stranger walked into the room where you are at this minute,
your initial reaction might be based upon such things as their
clothes, how attractive they look, or whether they appear to come
from a culture that you are comfortable with.
As you were forming your opinion, if this stranger took the trouble
to come over and pay you a compliment, you might be inclined to
feel more positive about themÑthough you still know nothing
about them.
First impressions are generally superficial and as often wrong as
right. Nonetheless, people do tend to judge a book by its cover. No
matter how favorable a first impression you make on a customer,
eventually you are going to have to provide more concrete reasons
why they should continue to like you and want to pursue the
business relationship.
With each subsequent encounter, the attraction between you and
the person youÕre dealing with becomes based less upon bias and
more upon mutual interests and concerns.
Connecting is something we do well with people who are like us.
For people who are not like us, connecting is more difficult, though
it is a skill that can be developed. Connecting is absolutely
necessary if you ever expect to develop a mutual feeling of trust. Of
the many ways to connect with people, two have the most impact.
These are shared experiences and mirroring.
Shared Experiences
When two people have gone through similar experiences, it creates a
familiarity between them and plants the seed for a new relationship.
Shared experiences may include going to the same college, having
children the same age, serving in the same branch of the military, etc.
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Janet once met a Senior VPof Sales for a medium-sized
company. The introduction was made by the VPof Human
Resources. At the start of the meeting it was clear that, for
some reason most likely not related to Janet personally,
the sales VPwould probably have preferred getting a root
canal to speaking with Janet.
As she listened, Janet discovered that they had both gone
to the same college and had been a year apart. They
started talking about the same professors. After 30
minutes of this, the sales VPlooked at the HR VPand said,
She�s OK. We�ll do what she thinks we need. Janet then
had about a 30-second conversation on what she would be
doing for his sales professionals, and the meeting ended.
The sales VPis still one of her largest clients, and is also a
personal friend.
How do you ensure the shared-experience connection happens? It
often requires doing some research on the people youÕll be
meeting with, prior to the actual meeting. The easiest way is to
key the personÕs name into your favorite Internet search engine.
Put quotes around the name to ensure that you bring up only
people with that exact name.
Internet searches often allow you to gather a significant amount of
personal data. For example, you may find out if the person is
married, where they live, if they have children or not, etc. The
objective of the search is to find connections from shared exper-
iences. Once youÕve accomplished this, stop. Continuing to uncover
more and more information about a person is a form of stalking.
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If your Internet search doesnÕt yield any information, however, you
may have to do a little low-tech detective work. You may find that
someone in your organization has already worked with the
individual and can share what they know with you. Or, if thereÕs
someone in the customerÕs company you know well enough to
speak with, they may be able to give you some insights.
As you gather data, you might consider creating a client profile that
captures additional information. As you develop a deeper
relationship with the customer, they might start sharing more facts
about their personal life. As they do, note where you might have a
shared experience. This is a natural process for most people; though,
as a sales professional, you will be doing this more deliberately.
I highly recommend that you donÕt tell people that youÕve created
a profile about them. People are extremely sensitive about their
privacy, and knowing this can actually get in the way of gaining
their trust.
Mirroring
Mirroring involves a very specific way of responding to another
personÕs behavior. It is founded upon two behavioral principles.
One is that oouurr ffeeeelliinnggss iinnfflluueennccee oouurr pphhyyssiiccaall eexxpprreessssiioonn.. When
you are happy, what kind of facial expression do you have? When
you are sad, is your facial expression different?
While your feelings influence your expression, the opposite is also
true: your expression can influence your feelings. Research
suggests that a particular expression modifies the blood flow to the
brain and in so doing alters its neurochemistry, which in turn
creates the feeling that normally accompanies the expression. If
you want to feel happy, put a genuine smile on your face and hold
it there for a while and watch what happens with your attitude.
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The other principle upon which mirroring is based is called
ÒÒrreecciipprroocciittyy..ÓÓ It is a nnaattuurraall hhuummaann tteennddeennccyy ttoo rreettuurrnn ffaavvoorrss.. If
I give you something or do something for you, some part of you is
likely to feel like you need to return the favor. This Òreciprocity
urgeÓ is found in every human culture. When you feel you need to
give back to someone who has done something for you, you are
experiencing this reciprocity urge.
Therefore, iiff II mmiirrrroorr yyoouurr pphhyyssiiccaall eexxpprreessssiioonn,, II wwiillll bbeeggiinn ttoo
ffeeeell wwhhaatt yyoouu aarree ffeeeelliinngg.. If I mirror you in some way, I am
actually honoring you. You may not recognize this consciously.
TToo bbee eeffffeeccttiivvee,, mmiirrrroorriinngg mmuusstt ccoommee ffrroomm aann iinntteennttiioonn ooff
hhoonnoorriinngg tthhee ootthheerr ppeerrssoonn.. If IÕm mirroring you because I truly
want to feel what you are feeling so that I better understand you,
then IÕm working to build trust. If IÕm mirroring you only to get
you to do things my way and am unconcerned about how you
feel, then IÕm seeking to manipulate you.
The first way, to honor, builds rapport and causes people to feel
comfortable with you. The second way, to manipulate, creates the
need for the other person to manipulate you (as a result of the
same principleÑreciprocity) and causes people to be
uncomfortable with you.
This is not theoretical. It is not, ÒThis may happen.Ó It is, ÒThis
willhappen,Ó just as when you drop something, gravity willpull it
to the ground.
How will people know whether your motivation is one of
honoring or manipulation? They may not know it consciously.
However, you will definitely see differences in the results over
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time. In the short run, attempting to manipulate may serve you. In
the long run, it will hurt you. Guaranteed.
Mirroring another personÕs behavior offers them both visible and
unconscious pictures of themselves. This is a natural process that
most people learn before they are eight years old.
Mirroring Is Not Mimicking
Mirroring is not to be confused with mimicking. Mimicking
involves exact duplication of every behavior the other person
exhibits. You copy their body movements and other behaviors
precisely. Children love to mimic and play this game with their
friends. Adults and children will play this game with each other.
Adults rarely play this game with other adults except when they
want to insult someone. Mimicking another adult will usually
destroy trust. So when you are mirroring another person, be
selective in what you decide to mirror.
Have some fun with your discovery of mirroring. Go to a popular
teen hangout and notice how many of the young adults have
adopted the same body postures as each other. Check out other
environments, such as the library, video store, or supermarket. YouÕll
be amazed at how people adopt similar body postures and behaviors.
Making Mirroring Work
Mirroring is very simple to do. My first experience with it in a sales
process had immediate impact on a major sale. When I first learned
about the concept, I was very skeptical. I was told that if I mirrored
others, behaved like they behaved, a state of rapport would
develop. If I was effective, I could test for rapport by taking the
lead, which meant that if I slightly changed my behavior the other
person would mirror me. For example, if I folded my hands on the
table, the other person would soon follow, and so on.
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I was presenting a proposal to the vice president of sales
for a Fortune 500 company. His assistant was in the room,
and while he would not be making the decision for this VP,
he could negatively influence it.
We were all sitting in swivel chairs while discussing the
various pros and cons of my proposal. At one point, we
reached a part that the assistant had disagreement with.
His beliefs and my beliefs differed. At that point, he started
shaking his head back and forth indicating that he wasnt
in agreement and started to verbally raise objections.
The VPnoticed this, yet didnt say anything and asked me
to continue. I knew I had to do two things: first, state my
recommendations clearly; and, second, become more
connected to the opinions of the assistant. I did this by
mirroring the physical behavior of the assistant until I had
established a deep level of rapport.
Its important to understand that I did not try to make his
ideas wrong; I simply wanted to establish a connection so
he could start to experience my viewpoint as well as his
own. As we connected and I could see we were in touch, I
gently led him out of the negating behavior, non-verbally.
What I did was very easy: Every time the assistant started
to shake his head no, I slowly rocked back and forth in
my swivel chair, keeping perfect time with his head-
shakes, while still making my case verbally. Interestingly,
when I got into perfect rhythm with his non-verbal head-
shakes, his verbal objections started decreasing.
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The next step was to start leading him out of the negative
behavior. So when I was perfectly matched with him for about
45 seconds, I slowly started to decrease my rocking. I found
that if I did this very gradually, he would follow me, trying to
keep in perfect sync with me and not break rapport. Was he
conscious of this? I cant imagine he would have been. After
about 10 minutes he was no longer shaking his head, I had
stopped rocking, and he had no more verbal objections.
The vice president was pleased with my explanation and
asked his assistant if he had any further comments. His
assistant replied, No, sounds like a good idea to me.
When can we proceed?
I want to emphasize that I was not attempting to manipulate the
assistantÕs thinking or argue with him. I was working to establish
a connection with this person, honor his point of view with this
connection, and present my case in a neutral way that was in sync
with him. I respected his point of view and, as we came into
greater rapport, he was able to respect mine. The rocking was a
way of establishing this connection and assisted us in coming to a
place of mutual agreement.
Here are some ways to mirror a person.
Content Mirroring
This form of mirroring is perhaps the one most over-used.
Salespeople learn early that when walking into an office they need
to do a quick scan and find something that seems important to
the individual and ask a question or make a comment about it to
Òbreak the ice.Ó This is a form of mirroring interest. Unfortunately,
if you are selling to someone who has frequent dealings with
salespeople, they may have long ago tired of this Ògame.Ó
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In fact, there are people who intentionally put objects in their
office that do not reflect their interests. And remember that some
people work in offices that are decorated by others, so their
interests may not be reflected in the office decor.
A good friend of mine is a crusty old purchasing manager.
He�s been doing this job for about 35 years. About 10 years
ago, he put up a beautiful oil painting of an antique
airplane with spectacular art deco lines. The painting
recalls a slower, more graceful time.
When salespeople call on him, they almost always try to
discuss the painting. His response goes something like this:
I hate flying and always get airsick. Now, what is it that
you want to sell me?
While mirroring shared interests can be an extremely strong
rapport-builder, today you need to have more. You need to
demonstrate to your prospects that you are interested in them and
in helping them achieve goals or overcome obstacles that are
inhibiting their success.
Doing your homework before your initial meeting is only the first
step. Coming into the meeting, you need to have your eyes wide
open, your ears tuned, and your antennae up pulling in the vibes
of the office so you can effectively mirror back to the customer.
Notice the environment around you. If there are others involved,
whatÕs happening with the people? Are they friendly, cold, or just
indifferent? WhatÕs on the walls, on the tables, on peopleÕs desks?
The above example notwithstanding, the fact is that in most cases
everything you see gives you clues about who the people are and
who they arenÕt. They just may not automatically be rapport-builders.
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With a little practice and enough time in the field, noticing whatÕs
missing can give you as many clues as what you do see, hear, and
feel. However, as you begin to practice this, just notice. In a later
chapter weÕll discuss what these things mean and how they reflect
what motivates the customer.
For the time being, though, focus on and mirror your customerÕs
unconscious processes.
Voice-Pattern Mirroring
Often your first contact with a prospect is on the phone. Even
though you have not physically met the person, and may not
know much about them or their company, you can still start the
rapport process.
How do you do this? By mirroring the personÕs voice patterns.
Each person has unique characteristics to their voice. Voice-pattern
mirroring consists of matching tempo, tone, volume, and accent.
LetÕs define those terms:
tteemmppoo the rate or speed at which a person talks
ttoonnee the pitch of the voice as it is high or low, or as it
rises and falls
vvoolluummee the loudness of sound or fullness of tone
aacccceenntt the characteristic manner of pronunciation of a
language heard in different parts of the same
country or different countries
People who grow up in countries where several languages may be
spoken develop a natural ability to mirror voice patterns. When
they speak with a person from a different country, they may shift
automatically into that other personÕs language. Often they do this
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unconsciously, meaning they donÕt think about it and when asked
may not even know they made the switch.
Verbal mirroring is something people do naturally. It doesnÕt take
much effort once you have practiced the skill. Becoming more
conscious of this skill and using it helps build better connections.
Tempo
The easiest of all of the voice characteristics to match, and the
least risky, is tempo. Some people speak quickly, and some
slowly. Can you recall a time when you were talking with a
person who seemed to take forever to finish a sentence? Do you
remember how uncomfortable you felt? Did you feel like you were
going to grow old and die before the person completed the
sentence? Now, imagine how the other person would feel if you
rattled off a sentence back to him at light speed.
Effective connection implies a two-way processÑyou with the
other person and the other person with you. You can help ensure
effective connection by being aware of your speaking rate.
The most obvious example of tempo mismatch would be to take a
person from the Deep South and put them in a sales meeting in
New York City. Unless this person had something extraordinary to
offer, they might be quickly dismissed as a country hick. The
reverse is true as well; a New Yorker in the Deep South would
probably be dismissed as pushy and overbearing because of their
verbal speed.
Another aspect of voice tempo is pauses. Some people pause only
briefly before starting up again. Others take a longer pause before
continuing. Going back to our North versus South example, if you
take a short pause in New York, most people will consider that a
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sign that you have completed your communication and that they
are free to jump in. If youÕre a Southerner in New York, you will
feel cut off by people jumping in. On the other hand, if you are a
Northerner who starts cutting people off in the South, they will
generally consider you rude and ill mannered.
A word of caution is needed here. If your tempo is extremely
different from that of the other person, go easy on your voice
adjustment. Gradual adjustments to voice tempo accomplish two
things. Slowing down or speeding up slightly is not likely to be
consciously noticed. Secondly, the other person will unconsciously
feel honored that you are making an attempt to connect more
effectively with them.
Tone
Tone has two components: pitch (i.e., how high or low the voice
is) and the rate of rise and fall, which indicates attitude. When it
comes to the latter, some communication scientists say that almost
half of the total communication is delivered through the voice
tone. I remember my mother saying, ÒDonÕt take that tone of
voice with me, young man!Ó It wasnÕt the information she was
objecting to, it was the attitude of disrespect that was
communicated in the tone.
Mirroring a person while on the phone together can be very
powerful.
One sales professional I coached had a customer who was
always sharp with him on the phone. He described the
quality of the other person�s voice in detail and told me
that he thought her voice was unpleasant.
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I suggested that judging the other person�s voice and
labeling it as unpleasant was counterproductive. He agreed
to work at dropping the judgment and begin mirroring the
�sharpness in her voice. The next time he spoke with his
customer, he began to mirror her voice tone.
He told me that the customer began to warm up to him and
discuss problems that he knew existed, but that she would
never admit to before.
When he told me about this, I suggested two things. First, by
mirroring the customerÕs voice, he initiated and built a better
connection with her that she was probably desperate to have.
Second, by dropping the judgments he had about her voice, my
friend removed some of his own counterproductive thoughts that
were blocking him from hearing what she had to say.
Most of us are unaware of our own vocal tone. Because it is
subtle, tone is a good medium to use for building connections.
Mirroring pitch can have similarly powerful results in building
rapport. Take two tuning forks of the same pitch and strike one so
that it begins to vibrate. What happens to the second tuning fork
as you move the first closer to it? It begins to vibrate as well.
People can be similar in that when you mirror a personÕs voice
tone, you create the same complementary vibration.
When mirroring tone, itÕs important to stay within your natural
tone range. If you sound like a violin and the other person is a
bass guitar, youÕre going to sound phony if you try to exactly
match the other personÕs voice. Drop your voice down to the
lowest tone range that you are ÒcomfortableÓ with. Pay attention;
you might notice that the other person raises their voice tone ever
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so slightly. This is a good sign; reciprocity is kicking in. And,
while youÕre doing this, begin to mirror one or two of the other
voice characteristics.
To illustrate how much impact voice tonality can have,
consider this:
In a recent study, Stanford W. Gregory and Timothy J.
Gallagher of Kent State University hypothesized that a
certain non-verbal tonality in a person�s voice has a
profound effect on how they are perceived and accepted by
others. In a study that encompassed 30 years of televised
presidential debates, the scholars claim that the candidate
with better fundamental frequencya subtle, non-verbal
hum that is part of the human voicewon the popular vote
in every election. The authors link this fundamental
frequency to a speakers dominance or submissiveness.
While you may not be able to identify this level of subtlety, itÕs
important to be aware of how voice tonality can work for or
against your objective.
Volume
Some people roar and others whisper when they talk. If you roar
and your customer whispers, itÕs quite possible that he may feel
overpowered. If you whisper and your client roars, you may not
gain her respect.
In some parts of the country, itÕs more natural to speak with a
louder volume. In the United States, Texas is a great example.
Some Texans just tend to speak louder than people in other parts
of the country. I recently overhead two Ògood-olÕ boysÓ talking at
a conference where I was scheduled to speak. While the two of
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them were standing very close to each other, their voice volume
was loud enough for everyone within 20 feet to hear them.
I noticed several people looking at these two guys with daggers
coming out of their eyes. While I, too, was a little uncomfortable
with this, they were not. In fact, they didnÕt seem to have any
awareness of the impact of their voice volume, just as people on
cell phones are often unaware of how loud theyÕre talking, even in
a quiet environment.
As a sales professional, you cannot afford to be this unconscious
or unconcerned.
If you need to adjust your voice volume with a customer, make
these adjustments in your voice volume slowly. If you speak softly
one moment and loudly the next, you may actually break
connection and diminish rapport.
For some men, voice volume is a marker of personal power. If your
customerÕs voice is louder than yours and he raises his voice louder
as you try to mirror the volume, stop raising your volume. You may
actually create a shouting match with disastrous consequences. You
might slightly raise it again 10 or 15 minutes later. If nothing
happens, then itÕs OK to mirror his voice volume more fully.
Accent
I suggest that sales professionals not try to mirror another
personÕs accent. If you grew up in the same place as the other
person and you sound like a native, great. However, one of the
most painful things to watch is a non-native trying to mirror the
local accent and failing. Generally, the locals will view that person
as a phony. Think of a person from North Dakota moving to
Mississippi and trying to mirror a southern drawl.
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Once youÕve lived in a place long enough, you will eventually
begin to mirror the local accent. That is a natural process that
happens more or less unconsciously.
Tempo, tone, volume, and accent all focus on vocal connection.
Here are some other ways to connect with people.
Corporate Culture Mirroring
Every organization has specific behavior patterns that are
acceptable and not acceptable. For example, many companies
have a Òbusiness casualÓ dress code, while others require suits
and ties. Some companies call people by their first names, and
others address each other by their last names. Some companies
have a distinct chain of command that limits communication
between lower-level employees and senior management. All of
these subtle behaviors are part of the overall corporate culture.
Culture, in most organizations, is so much a part of the fabric of
the organization that it goes unnoticed by the employees within
the culture. What people are very aware of, though, is when
someone is not in alignment with the culture.
For most of us, rules such as how we speak or act with each other
are different on the job than at home. Imagine speaking with the
CEO of your company the way you speak with a younger brother
or sister. Would you do it? What would the consequences be for
doing it? While these are some of the obvious things, they point
out that you must be conscious of the rules of the customerÕs
organization to avoid violating them and possibly destroying your
chances of establishing a relationship.
LetÕs look at some of the observable artifacts that make up
corporate culture.
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CCllootthhiinngg.. Every company has a uniform. It may not be as
obvious as those you see in the military; however, it is a
uniform nonetheless. Your job is to notice the Òcorporate
uniform.Ó For some corporations, pinstriped suits, white
shirts, and wing-tip shoes for men and the same suiting
material, white blouse, and sturdy shoes for women are the
uniform. For other companies, especially some computer
software companies, T-shirts, jeans, and running shoes make
up the corporate dress code. White or pinstriped shirt and
suspenders has become popular in some organizations.
Dress varies within different parts of the country and even
regions within those parts. Dress may even differ within
parts of the organization. Consider how the people on the
shop floor dress, or those in accounting, or in the computer
room. If you interact with any of those folks, what can you
do to mirror them? Would they confide their needs,
concerns, and predispositions to you if you were overdressed
or underdressed compared to them?
When youÕre dealing with people outside the executive suite,
you can still make the sales call dressed in a nice suit. Modify
your appearance by removing your jacket, if necessary. If
youÕre out on the shipping dock and working with those
people, you may choose to roll up your sleeves partway and
loosen your tie. Leave the expensive watch at home if youÕre
not meeting with a person who needs to see that.
The whole purpose behind having an appropriate uniform is
providing the other person with clues that you are like them,
which helps them connect with you. The less time they
spend trying to get comfortable with you, the more time they
can be mentally available to build a relationship with you.
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PPeecckkiinngg OOrrddeerr.. This is a term that is, in fact, based on the
social organization of poultry, where the dominant chicken
can peck at a lesser-ranked chicken, and the lower-ranked
bird must allow it. In companies, it relates to the business
hierarchyÑthings like when a person can speak based on
their level of importance inside the corporation or when to
use titles or not.
BBuussiinneessss MMeeaallss.. Customs about when to discuss business at
a business lunch may differ from region to region and within
regions. In some areas, as soon as you sit down is an
appropriate time to jump to the matter at hand; in others,
you wait until after dessert. In still others, itÕs not till you are
in the car driving from the restaurant that the subject is
brought up.
GGiifftt--ggiivviinngg.. Customs for giving gifts differ within certain
types of organizations. For example, giving gifts to
government contractors may actually jeopardize the
recipientÕs employment and your contract as well. Some
companies limit the dollar amount of the gift that can be
received. For other companies, gifts are an accepted part of
doing business. If in doubt, ask.
Asking a question or two before your first meeting may be all you
need to prevent embarrassment when it comes to internalÑor
even unspokenÑrules and regulations. ÒAre there any customs
that I need to know about before coming to your officeÑthings
that may be different from other offices you have been in?Ó
Building Connection at the First Meeting
YouÕre about to have your first meeting with a new customer.
YouÕve done your homework and know something about the
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corporate culture. What do you do when you meet the person for
the first time? Mirroring their physical expressions and
mannerisms can be very powerful and also provide you with a
great deal of information about them as a unique person.
ItÕs useful to think of a personÕs body as divided into two Òmirror
zonesÓ: face and body. This will make it easier for you to grasp
and use the following information.
FFaacciiaall EExxpprreessssiioonnss.. The expressions on a personÕs face can give
you great insight into the thoughts and feelings going on inside
the person. Research indicates that we learn to read faces by the
time we are six months old. We know when Mother and Father
are happy, sad, or upset by the looks on their faces.
While expressions are important in revealing moods, our faces can
tell much more about us than that. Indeed, some people who have
studied faces for a living claim that our characters and
dispositions are indicated in the lines of our face. For now,
however, just focus on a couple of simple mirroring techniques.
Do you maintain eye contact while speaking with another person?
Does that person maintain eye contact with you? In the United
States, we generally prefer to look people in the eyes when we
talk with them. Generally, we believe that eye contact is a sign of
honesty. In many Asian countries, it is a sign of respect to lower
oneÕs gaze when addressing an individual of higher status.
If you pay attention to your customer, you will notice that a
certain amount of eye contact is comfortable for them. For most
people, staring is uncomfortable. When you mirror the eye contact
with your customer, keep it natural and donÕt exceed the amount
of time they connect with you.
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BBooddyy PPoossttuurree && MMoovveemmeenntt.. For the most part, the way people
hold and move their bodies is done unconsciously. This means
that people are generally unaware of what their bodies are doing
at any given moment. Mirroring this unconscious behavior is one
of the most powerful ways to connect with another person.
There have been a great many books, articles, and even videos
produced that purport to tell you how to interpret the messages in
a personÕs body posture. While interpreting body language can be
helpful, using it as a key to mirroring can be even more powerful.
For example, what is the implication when someone crosses their
arms in front of them? The common interpretation is that the
person is closed off to anything you might be communicating.
While this might be very true, it could also mean that the person
is cold, is embarrassed with their extra weight, has a stain on
their shirt or blouse, or is just comfortable with that position.
LetÕs suppose for a moment that a customer is sitting behind her
desk with her arms and legs crossed. Is she closed off and resisting?
Perhaps. If she is, the absolute worst thing that you can do is try to
be more forceful with your communication or to lean forward and
become more enthusiastic or charming. If sheÕs really closed off and
you do this, what will she do? SheÕll resist you more.
But by mirroring her body posture, you can discuss your plan
with your legs crossed or your arms crossed. If she is, in fact,
feeling the need to protect herself, you are subtly communicating
your agreement that there may be things in the business
environment that are unsafe. It is as if even you need protection
from fast-moving changes in the business environment. When
your customer feels safer, she will open up and you can naturally
follow her. And if sheÕs not feeling unsafe, but has her arms
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crossed because sheÕs more comfortable that way, you have
certainly done no harm in mirroring her.
The point is, you donÕt need to know why sheÕs in that position;
you can connect with her, whatever is motivating her posture,
through mirroring.
Another customer in the apparently closed-off body position might
just be uncomfortable about the way he looks and is afraid that
you may be sitting there judging him. Again, you sit in a way very
similar to his. Probably not consciously, but unconsciously, he
will tend to relax a little bit more because your non-verbal
behavior is neither aggressive nor judgmental. Simply put, you
have connected with him on an unconscious level.
Think of this as a dance between you and your customer. When
dancing, one person leads and the other follows. For the most
part, let your customers lead. Your part is to stay in sync with
them and they, in turn, will often enjoy the dance.
This skill gets more interesting in group situations. For example,
letÕs say you need to make a presentation to a committee or
board. Glance around the table. Are people already mirrored with
other people in the room? If they are, you will have a fairly clear
direction as to how to posture yourself. If theyÕre not, then what?
On one occasion, I noticed that there were two distinct
body postures in an executive team meeting. The president
and VPof Sales were mirrored. However, the CFO, VPof
Human Resources, and VPof Marketing were mirrored with
one another but different from the others. Since my
presentation was a team-building session, my first
question was if there was disagreement among the group.
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Everyone was taken aback. They wanted to know how I
knew that they were not in agreement. As I explained what
I had noticed, you could see people begin to adjust their
body postures. Within about 15 minutes, most of the
people in the meeting were sitting in a similar way. And
they stayed that way throughout much of the day, which
allowed much freer communication and opened the door to
resolving the issues.
You actually do these things instinctively. When you want to talk
with a little child and you want to connect, do you stand over the
child and look down? Or do you stoop to the childÕs level and
start talking with them? When you are interacting with a child,
youÕre much closer to an instinctive levelÑpartly because you
donÕt feel threatened and youÕre pretty assured that youÕre in
control. Not only that, you are also unconsciously responding to
their innocence according to the principle of reciprocity.
With subtlety, you can do the same with adults. For example, IÕm
over six feet tall. When IÕm speaking with a person who is
substantially shorter than me, I find a chair to sit in. That way,
weÕre much closer to being eye-to-eyeÑand seeing eye-to-eye is
much more than just a figure of speech.
When you mirror peopleÕs body movements, youÕre mirroring the
way they walk, sit, use their hands, gesture, hold themselves, and
demonstrate any other physical manifestations of non-verbal
communication. Your mirroring needs to be subtle and fluid.
Making sudden or sharp movements is likely to break connection
with the other person.
Once connection has been established, body mirroring can shift in
and out of sync as the conversation flows. This is normal. As long
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as you feel comfortable, you probably still have connection. If you
notice your customer beginning to appear uncomfortable, check
your mirroring. If you are not in sync, reestablish posture, and you
will likely improve your connection.
Test this with friends or business associates. Initially match their
body posture for a couple of minutes and then purposely
mismatch their body posture. Notice their reactions and the
differences in the flow of the conversation. After this, go back to
mirroring and again notice the differencesÑboth in yourself and
in their reactions. Most people have reported that when body
posture is mirrored, conversations are smoother and more relaxed
than when posture is mismatched.
There are over 60,000 different variations of specific body
language, many with specific cultural meanings. For example, if
IÕm in the United States and give you the OK sign, making a circle
with my thumb and fingers, no problem. If I go outside of the U.S.
culture and do the exact same, there could be a big problem. That
sign, in some cultures, conveys a very insulting message.
Interpreting body language can be chancy if you are not well versed
in all of the subtle cultural meanings. Even in the United States, you
need to understand what culture a person was raised in, which may
be different from what their face and features indicate.
Crossover Mirroring
If your customer is constantly shifting his body posture, it might
be difficult to follow his lead without being obvious. In that case,
you can use crossover mirroring to connect with him. This means
you use similar gestures with other parts of your body to match
his body movements. For instance:
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¥ If your customer is sitting with crossed legs, you can keep
your arms crossed while keeping your feet flat on the floor.
¥ If your customer has crossed arms, you can cross your
wrists, legs, or ankles.
¥ If he is leaning back on a chair, you might lean to your side.
¥ If he is sitting with his legs spread apart, you might sit
with your arms wide open.
Subtlety is the key with any mirroring technique. If youÕre clumsy
with this, your customer may become annoyed or ask what you
are doing.
Mirroring Emotions
Have you ever had a meeting with a customer and noticed that
she was in a gloomy mood? If the two of you had a good
relationship, you may have asked her what was happening. She
may have told you, sometimes in more detail than you wanted.
The worst thing you can do is be Mr. Sunshine and make casual
remarks like, ÒBoy, you look down!Ó ÒDid your dog just die?Ó
ÒWho kicked you around today?Ó These will only create
separation, and you will lose rapport quickly.
Mirroring the personÕs emotional state is a sign of respect and
allows you to more deeply sense what is happening with your
customer. Acceptance and neutrality can be your greatest assets in
mirroring difficult, emotionally charged situations.
Accepting the personÕs emotional state will prevent you from
getting defensive (especially if he appears to be angry with you).
Keep in mind that acceptance and agreement are different. You
may not agree that your customer has a right to explode; however,
you can accept that people sometimes do thisÑand he just did.
Getting angry with him will usually escalate the situation.
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Responding in a kind, soothing voiceÑtreating him like he had a
recent frontal lobotomyÑalso often worsens the situation. It only
comes across as being offensive or patronizing.
So, what can you do? You can accept his emotional position and
begin to use your voice tone and tempo mirroring skills. HeÕs
probably talking very fast, so mirror his voice tempo. His tone is
sharp, perhaps harsh, and you can mirror that. His voice volume
may be rather loud; we recommend not mirroring that. What you
also want to avoid doing is mirroring his content, especially if he
is questioning your genetic heritage or speculating on the marital
status of your parents at the time of your birth.
By mirroring without anger and with acceptance, you can
reestablish connection with him. Sometimes this will be enough
for the person to stop and become more civil. Other times, you
will have to mirror for about five minutes and then gradually slow
your tempo and soften your tone. If you have succeeded in
connecting with him, he will follow your lead.
I know that this goes against everything most people ever heard
about how to handle angry people. The key thing here is that this
worksand works well, especially if you maintain your neutrality
and accept the person attacking you as another member of the
human race.
When you emotionally connect, you may be surprised at the
depth and quality of information people share with you. Often the
person may not even know what he is sharing because the
information is coming from an unconscious level.
By using emotional mirroring, you step into the other personÕs
realityÑinto their worldÑand you start to see, feel, and hear
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things from that perspective. This, in turn, helps you adjust your
sales approach to more closely match the clientÕs needs and
preferences. Consequently, your acceptance of who they are is
mirrored as well.
Connecting It All Together
This section has presented to you a number of ways to connect
with an individual. Once again, I suggest that you try this with
friends and family first. Initially, you might be a little
uncomfortable with these skills. Take the time to become
comfortable in a non-sales situation. TheyÕll pay big dividends
when youÕve learned to use them well.
There is no need to use all of the connecting skills at the same
time. Use whatever skill you need to connect with the other
person. Then use the other skills to enhance or deepen the
connection. Keep it simple and, before long, youÕll notice that
people are feeling more and more comfortable with youÑand that
will open many new doors to serving them more successfully and
gaining more business.
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Rapport: Credibility
How do you get people to know you can do what you say you can
do? In some professions there is implied credibility because, in
order to be licensed, a certain level of skill has to be
demonstrated. Not so in sales. With a few exceptions, sales
professionals do not have a government-controlled board of
examiners to determine if those in the profession are qualified to
sell. Even in professions that are regulated to some extent, such as
real estate, banking, or securities brokering, the examiners are less
concerned with the level of skill in selling than they are with
adherence to ethics or legal guidelines.
Most other professionalsÑphysicians, for exampleÑmust pass
rigorous academic requirements before being licensed to practice.
In addition, they have additional annual continuing education
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requirements that need to be met to be able to continue working
in their profession.
Because physicians are perceived to know their field thanks to this
licensing, they automatically have a certain level of professional
credibility. Because of this, patients will generally follow the
course of treatment their physician recommends. They may
occasionally get a second opinion, but they normally have high
levels of trust in their physicians.
In sales, you can print up a business card, declare yourself a
salesperson, and start attempting to sell. There is no inherent trust
that goes with being a sales professional since the perception is that
anyone can do it. So you must build credibility from the ground up.
MMeenn aanndd wwoommeenn wwhhoo bbrriinngg vvaalluuee aanndd ssoolluuttiioonnss ttoo tthheeiirr
ccuussttoommeerrss aarree mmoorree tthhaann ssaalleessppeeooppllee;; tthheeyy aarree ttrruuee ssaalleess
pprrooffeessssiioonnaallss..
They are knowledgeable about both what they sell and what
the customer requires.
They are alert to changes that affect both.
They are attuned to the customerÑhis employees, his
practices, and his problemsÑand are skilled in interpreting
what they hear or learn.
They communicate back to responsible plant, office, or
management people the information that they have
gatheredÑthe unpleasant as well as the pleasant.
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They are catalysts who bring the resources of the company
they represent to provide solutions to the appropriate
buying influences that specify, use, or otherwise affect
purchasing decisions.
And tthheeyy sseeee sseelllliinngg aass aa ffuunnccttiioonn tthhaatt eennhhaanncceess tthhee
ssuucccceessss ooff tthheeiirr ccuussttoommeerrss..
But how does the customer know that he is dealing with a
professional? By the individualÕs track record. Yet how is a
customer to know what a salespersonÕs past performance has
been? How can the customer differentiate among several
salespeople, all supplying the same items? Are the customerÕs
definitions of ÒperformanceÓ clear enough to know what theyÕre
measuring? Can the customer capture data that realistically reflect
the ÒperformanceÓ he wishes to measure? Does he have reliable
systems that enable him to update, analyze, and report
Òperformance resultsÓ?
On the other side, do you know and understand how you are
being measured? It will serve you to know these things, if you are
to build credibility with a customer.
Credibility refers to your ability to present yourself as a sales
professional who has somethingÑgenerally, more than just a
product or serviceÑto offer the customer. When you demonstrate
credibility, the customer sees you as possessing a breadth of
knowledge, depth of insight, and length of experience that may
help her come to grips with some of the contradictions,
complexities, and dilemmas in operating her business. There are
several ways to gain credibility with your customer.
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Earned Credibility
Credibility is ultimately something that you earn with the
customer. ItÕs developed over time and often requires face-to-face
meetings. Knowledge, insight, and experience are the three key
elements of credibility.
KKnnoowwlleeddggee,, in this context, refers to what you know about the
customer and his business. Doing your homework on the
company before you have your first meeting is the price of entry
in todayÕs sales game. You need to know what the customerÕs
company is about, who they do business with, what their issues
are, where they have failed, how profitable they are, and other
information like this. Can you answer these questions about
your customer?
¥ Is the customerÕs industry and/or customer base stable or
evolving?
¥ Who are the customerÕs competitors or collaborators?
¥ What is the customerÕs competitive advantage?
¥ What has contributed to past successes for the customer?
¥ What products or services contributed most to this
success?
¥ What innovations are anticipated that could change the
character of the customerÕs environment?
¥ Are there any new management initiatives or procedures
that will be instituted by the customerÕs organization?
¥ How will the future regulatory, legislative, or political
environment affect organization performance?
This is just a small sample of the kinds of questions you may want
to ask yourself when doing background research on your customer
in order to be in the strongest position to demonstrate your insight.
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IInnssiigghhtt refers to how your product or service will help the customer
to be more successful. ItÕs not enough to know the features and
benefits of your product or service. You need to have the insight
into how those features and benefits are going to apply specifically
to the customerÕs company and help accelerate customer success.
Have you solved another companyÕs problems? Have you helped
another company to be more successful? Are you willing to take the
time to see if the customer really needs what youÕre offering at this
time? Think of the company as a human being. If a person were
dying because of arterial bleeding, trying to sell him on a vitamin
regimen to help with iron deficiency wouldnÕt be appropriate.
Jean, a sales professional I know, does extensive research on each
of his customers. He wants to know what the company is about,
so he reads the annual reports and the various press releases the
company sends out. He ferrets out information about the company
on the Internet.
For his particular service, he wants to see if the benefits it offers
are perceived as benefits from the customerÕs perspective. More
importantly, he wants to know how his services benefit each
unique customer. He meets with the customer only after he is
certain he has a good grasp of this information so he can use this
knowledge to gain credibility in their eyes.
EExxppeerriieennccee is a little harder to communicate. So Jean has
developed a Òsecret weaponÓ to demonstrate his experience. Over
the years, he has been diligent about getting signed testimonial
letters from his customers. After 20 years in business, he now has
a binder three inches thick with customers praising him for
solving some of their more sticky issues. He always has this with
him, even after the first meeting.
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What we say as salespeople may be suspect in the eyes of the
customer. However, if one of our customers says it, or in JeanÕs
case, several hundred customers say it, it must be true. Jean says
that after sharing his binder of testimonials, his customers rarely
have doubts about his experience or his credibility.
Credibility by Referral
What if you donÕt have 20 years of experience and a three-inch
thick binder of customer testimonials? You can accomplish
something similar by having one of your satisfied customers refer
you to one of their friends or associates. Their providing you with
a letter of introduction, or a phone call from them, arms you with
a modest amount of credibility when you walk in the door.
Even with this introduction, to earn credibility you still need the
knowledgeand insightabout the person and company youÕre
meeting with. If you take the meeting without these, you risk
losing the credibility that has been bestowed on you by the
referral. In other words, you are given a certain amount of capital
to spend with the new client. You do not want to squander it by
being ill prepared.
A word of caution: If you have credibility by referral and do
something to cause the prospective client to not trust you, it is a
given that you wonÕt be able to develop trust with them. WhatÕs
worse is that the loss of referred credibility will also impact the
relationship of the person providing the referral.Asking for a
referral is not something to be done lightly. People are
appropriately very sensitive about making referrals and having
them go sour. When you receive a referral, you take on the
obligation of performing well, not just for yourself, but also for
your client who has referred you.
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Credibility by Association
There is one final way to gain credibility. If you represent a
product or service thatÕs highly regarded or you represent a well-
known company that has extensive industry credibility, you will
be given more professional courtesy during the initial sales
meeting. The credibility of the company and/or its products and
services has been transferred to you.
IIff yyoouu ggaaiinn ccrreeddiibbiilliittyy tthhrroouugghh rreeffeerrrraall oorr bbyy aassssoocciiaattiioonn,,
uullttiimmaatteellyy yyoouu ssttiillll nneeeedd ttoo ttrraannssffoorrmm tthhaatt iinnttoo eeaarrnneedd
ccrreeddiibbiilliittyy.. Credibility by referral or association is like having a
co-signer on a personal loan. Eventually, the bank or credit union
needs to know that you can pay the loan off yourself.
These sorts of bestowed credibility get you into the game. Staying
in the game and prospering is up to you.
Wrapping Up Rapport
After reading this section, you may be wondering how you will be
able to remember to do all of this while you are trying to conduct
a reasonably coherent sales call. There is a simple solutionÑ
develop the habit of mirroring.
Rapport is not mechanical. Nor is it as simple as it may seem to
those of you who have always set it up intuitively. However, as
you practice these techniques, establishing and maintaining
rapport will become more natural and automatic.
Maintaining rapport is a way to synchronize with the different
experiences and meanings of other human beings. Mirroring
accentuates similarities and plays down differences so that
understanding and rapport between people increases.
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Some people may feel it is unfair to utilize a natural phenomenon
such as this to gain your desired-end-result. Remember that you
will not gain and retain your own desired goal unless you keep
the customerÕs desired-end-result in mind. By doing this, rapport
becomes a tool to benefit both of you.
Taking Rapport on the Road
Now that you are conscious of compassion, connection, and
credibility as the three critical elements of building rapport, notice
how you are able to implement them within your workaday
environment. The suggestion here is to improve any of these skills
by doing them one at a time. Make it bite-size. Start with the one
that interests you the most or that you find the easiest. Many
people find mirroring posture or voice pattern to be a very good
starting point.
In work, family, and social situations, continually try meeting
people where they are. Notice how they relax when you seem to
be in their rhythm. Become aware of how easy it is, once you are
in true rhythm with them, to make very subtle changes and bring
them into true rhythm with you. Practice, experiment, and enjoy.
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Deep Trust: Crossing the Belief Threshold
The second primary element in establishing trust is deep trust.
Where rapport can get the car started, engine revving, deep trust
is what gets you in gear and really moving down the road to
bigger sales and repeat business.
Your customer brings to the table certain opinions about working
with salespeople. She also has had experiences working with
salespeople that form the basis for her beliefs. Opinions, beliefs,
and knowledge are very similar, varying mostly in the degree of
confidence the holder has in them. Knowledge would rank as the
most certain, and opinions as the least certain.
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For example, if you have an opinion about something and you
collect enough evidence that supports the opinion, you transform
the opinion into a belief. At this point, you pass the belief to the
unconscious and put it into the Òhow the world worksÓ file. You
do this because it frees your mind to focus on other things. For
the vast majority of people, this is an automatic processÑand
thank goodness for that, because you wouldnÕt make much
progress in life if you had to constantly reevaluate every detail of
your life.
For example, how much would you get done if you had to relearn
how to turn on the shower every morning? Have you ever traveled
and found that the shower in the hotel worked differently from
yours at home? Did it take you a few moments to figure it out?
New facts or new knowledge may require us to reevaluate our
beliefs and make changes to our behavior.
Your customer does a similar thing with salespeople. She takes all
of this input, both from the past and present, and constructs a
mental and emotional map from the information about
salespeople found in her unconscious Òhow salespeople workÓ
file. The information she draws on influences her behaviors in a
selling situation.
Does your customer generally believe that all salespeople are
honest and can be trusted, or does she believe that all salespeople
are for the most part self-serving, interested only in making the
sale, and need to be watched like a hawk? Or is she neutral?
Whatever she thinks, if her beliefs have been reinforced over time
she will be very confident that they are accurate.
Her confidence in her beliefs about salespeople serves as a
psychological gatekeeper of sorts, systematically determining
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how your actions match her beliefs. The degree of confidence
she has in her beliefs is determined by the consistency of
salespeopleÕs behaviors that match her beliefs. If, in her
experience, most salespeople act as she believes they will, she
possesses sound evidence for those beliefs. Sound evidence, in
turn, implies accuracy. Highly confident beliefs should therefore
be highly accurate.
But are they? TThheerree iiss ssuurrpprriissiinnggllyy lliittttllee ppssyycchhoollooggiiccaall rreesseeaarrcchh
tthhaatt ssuuppppoorrttss tthhee iiddeeaa tthhaatt ccoonnffiiddeennccee iiss cclloosseellyy ttiieedd ttoo aaccccuurraaccyy..
Instead, confidence and accuracy often seem to be disconnected.
The Confidence/Accuracy (Dis)Connection
Some of the most direct evidence for the confidenceÐaccuracy
disconnection comes from studies in which psychologists grew
progressively more confident in their impressions of clients while
the accuracy of their impressions remained low.
Other studies of eyewitness testimony have revealed virtually no
relation between the observerÕs confidence and the accuracy of
their observations and thus beliefs. Even when people make
judgments about Òobjective facts,Ó there seems to be little relation
between their confidence in their information and the accuracy of
their beliefs.
If you want an experience of this, consider these two questions:
Who invented the airplane? Who invented the automobile? Did
you say the Wright brothers and Henry Ford?
Many people confidently believe that the Wright brothers invented
the airplane. But, in fact, there were a number of airplanes in
their day. The Wright brothers innovated a method of steering that
made flying practical. Similarly, there were a variety of autos
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when Henry Ford came up with the idea of the assembly line,
which is what really put Ford on the map.
The customerÕs confidence acts as a form of self-fulfilling
prophecy. She sees, hears, and feels what she wants based on her
beliefs, not based on the evidence that is present. If you are going
to move from rapport to deep trust, you need to cross this Belief
Threshold. This crossing needs to be handled delicately and may
take time, depending on her beliefs about salespeople and their
trustworthiness.
In the process of crossing the threshold and moving toward deep
trust, the customer will evaluate you on three criteria:
¥ First, she will try to determine how competent you are.
¥ Second, she will try to determine if you are committed to
her desired-end-results.
¥ And finally, she will want to know how consistent you are.
Her evaluation will be based solely on your repeated behaviors.
Verbally declaring that you are competent, committed, and
consistent wonÕt have any credibility with her. You must make
certain that your actions continually support these three criteria, if
you want to cross the Belief Threshold. And crossing the Belief
Threshold is a critical step to creating deep trust and a successful
and enduring customer relationship.
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Deep Trust: Competence
You can have credibility with your clients by demonstrating
knowledge, expressing insight, and having experience. Credibility
will help you build rapport. However, to begin to establish deep
trust, you must be perceived by your customer as being competent
(i.e., demonstrating competencies). Competencies are the
attributes, skills,and knowledgeconsidered critical for successful
sales performance.
AAttttrriibbuutteess are the personal qualities in your psychological makeup
that contribute to your overall sales success. These include your
values, which were hardwired in you before you were eight years
old. For example, drive is something that is hardwired in people. If
a person doesnÕt have it by the age of about 21, only rarely will
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they develop it in later life. In adulthood, it often takes a
significant emotional event to create the desire to change and
follow through with the change.
SSkkiillllss are your demonstrated expertise. These can be developed
or acquired through training or experience. Negotiation skill is
an example of that. Learning to negotiate well takes education
and practice.
KKnnoowwlleeddggee,, in this context, is a given body of factual
information. That is, it is information that is objectively proven
reliable. For example, the specifications of your product or service
would be part of your body of knowledge. Deeper knowledge
would be how your product or service is going to benefit the
customer based on your experience in situations similar to that of
your customer.
Here are some specific sales competencies.
Attributes:
¥ Adaptability
¥ Drive
¥ Initiative
¥ Tenacity
Skills:
¥ Account management
¥ Listening
¥ Presentation
¥ Interpersonal relationship
¥ Leadership
¥ Prospecting
¥ Time management
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Knowledge:
¥ Company mission and vision
¥ Competitive strategies
¥ Financial
¥ Marketing
¥ Pricing
Each competency has specific behaviors that identify whether or
not you are, in fact, competent. For example, these are the
behaviors associated with Organizing Skills:
¥ Sets clearly defined and attainable goals
¥ Creates detailed plans that focus on accomplishing goals
¥ Creates and completes effective to-do lists that track progress
toward goal completion
¥ Uses either manual or computer-based time management
systems
¥ Organizes paper using in-baskets, tickler files, or general
filing systems
¥ Commits to and honors time deadlines
As you develop competency, you go through five stages. They are:
unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious
competence, unconscious competence, and mastery (sometimes
called Òreflective competenceÓ). This applies for every skill and the
knowledge that needs to be developed to be an effective top-
producing sales professional.
You may have different competence levels with different skills. You
could be a great listener but fail when you have to make a persuasive
presentation. You may be strong in making presentations but be
weak in the time management area. Your strengths may not offset
your weaknesses, and your customer may or may not be willing to
work with you when you are at the lower levels of competence.
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You donÕt have to be perfect at everything; however, you will want
to bring your weaker skills up to an acceptable level. Knowing
which skills are at which level of competency will assist you in
doing just that.
Unconscious Incompetence
When you are functioning at the unconscious incompetence level,
you probably are blissfully unaware that your confidence exceeds
your ability. Basically, you donÕt know that there is anything to
learn. You may not understand advice given to you because you
havenÕt begun to ask the right questions.
And yet you may still be successful at this level. ItÕs called
ÒbeginnerÕs luck.Ó You know so little that all you can do is ask
questions of the customer. The customer respects that youÕre
interested in him and his needs and awards you the business because
you didnÕt try to pull any fancy sales moves on him. This confidence
in you will not persist, however, and you will not find yourself in a
solid position over time unless you move out of this level.
Unconscious Incompetents would demonstrate these behaviors:
¥ They are not aware of the existence or relevance of the
skill area.
¥ They are not aware that they have a particular deficiency in
the area concerned.
¥ They might deny the relevance or usefulness of the skill.
¥ They must become conscious of their incompetence before
development of the new skill or learning can begin.
The aim of the trainee or learner who is at this stage is to move
into the Òconscious incompetenceÓ stage by demonstrating the new
skill or ability. The trainer or teacher starts this process by
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communicating or demonstrating the benefit that the skill will
bring to the personÕs effectiveness.
An awakening needs to occur to get to the next level. Losing a
large sale is often what accomplishes this.
Conscious Incompetence
The awakening event that takes place causing a mental shift to
this level may feel like being hit with a brick. You think youÕre
doing great and, suddenly, out of nowhere, you lose the sale or
otherwise have evidence that you entirely missed something.
When this happens, it may even seem to you that you actually
know nothing and that thereÕs so much to learn. In fact, your
confidence may drop as you realize that your ability is limited and
that you will need to study to learn.
Often this means not succeeding at first. In our culture, people
have a difficult time at this level because they label the learning
Òfailure.Ó The good news is that, when this occurs, yyoouu aarree
aaccttuuaallllyy wwaayy aahheeaadd ooff wwhheerree yyoouu wweerree bbeeffoorree iitt ttooookk ppllaaccee
bbeeccaauussee yyoouu nnooww kknnooww wwhhaatt yyoouu ddoonnÕÕtt kknnooww aanndd ccaann ddoo
ssoommeetthhiinngg aabboouutt iitt.. So you begin to study.
Conscious Incompetents would demonstrate these behaviors:
¥ They become aware of the existence and relevance of the skill.
¥ They are therefore also aware of their deficiency in this area,
ideally by having attempted or tried to use the skill.
¥ They realize that by improving their skill or ability in this
area, their effectiveness will improve.
¥ Ideally, they have a measure of the extent of their deficiency
in the relevant skill and a measure of what level of skill is
required for their own competence.
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¥ If they want to shift this, they make a commitment to learn
and practice the new skill and to move to the Òconscious
competenceÓ stage.
There are three keys to getting to the next level: Practice.
Practice. Practice.
Conscious Competence
Once youÕve practiced enough and acquired more skill, you
become consciously competent. Conscious Competents have the
knowledge to perform particular skills, have extensively trained at
performing the skills, and are proficient at the skills. However, the
skills do not yet come automatically; they still require conscious
thought to be performed correctly. Your conscious mind can only
cope with a small number of new bits of information at any one
time. While your confidence increases with your ability, you still
have to concentrate on what you know and how you do it.
Conscious Competents would demonstrate these behaviors:
¥ They can perform the skill reliably at will.
¥ They still need to concentrate and think in order to perform
the skill.
¥ They can perform the skill without assistance.
¥ They will not reliably perform the skill unless thinking about
it (i.e., the skill is not yet Òsecond natureÓ or ÒautomaticÓ).
¥ They should be able to demonstrate the skill to another, but
are unlikely to be able to teach it well to another person.
¥ They should ideally continue to practice the new skill and, if
appropriate, commit to becoming Òunconsciously
competentÓ at the new skill.
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For a person to reach the next level, the skills and knowledge are
practiced enough that they become habits.
Unconscious Competence
At this stage, you can do the skill while your mind is on other
things. Your skill has become instinctive. Your confidence and
ability have peaked; you no longer have to concentrate on what
you know/do. This is the start of the next learning curve.
Unconscious Competents would demonstrate these behaviors:
¥ They become so practiced that the skill enters the
unconscious parts of the brain (i.e., it becomes Òsecond
natureÓ). Common examples are driving, sports activities,
typing, manual dexterity tasks, listening, and
communicating.
¥ They can perform certain skills while doing something
elseÑfor example, knitting while watching TV.
¥ They might now be able to instruct others in the skill
concerned; although after some time of being unconsciously
competent, the person may actually have difficulty
explaining exactly how they do it because the skill has
become largely instinctual.
Reaching this level and displaying these behaviors arguably gives
rise to the need for long-standing unconscious competence to be
checked periodically against new standards.
As effective as this level is, there is still one more level to go.
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Mastery
The fifth stage is mastery, or what is sometimes referred to as
reflective competence. At this stage, you are aware of your own
levels of competence and you recognize that, unlike conscious
competence, you donÕt need to think about the skills in order to
execute them well. In some ways, itÕs almost like youÕre observing
yourself from outside of yourself. These wonÕt be the exact same
skills and knowledge that you learned consciously and then
became unconscious of. It will appear as a flow, where you pick
part of one skill and combine it with some knowledge to create a
new approach that is totally appropriate for your customer at that
moment in time.
The Critical Importance of Competence
WWhheetthheerr tthheeyy sseeee iitt tthhrroouugghh yyoouurr ppeerrffoorrmmaannccee oorr nnoott,,
ccuussttoommeerrss kknnooww uunnccoonnsscciioouussllyy wwhheetthheerr yyoouu aarree ccoommppeetteenntt..
Their unconscious level controls their deep emotional satisfaction,
or dissatisfaction. If you do something unhelpful (i.e., in some
way incompetent), their unconscious knows it.
The tricky part is that the unconscious and conscious mind can
disagree. Your customer may have all the facts to make a decision
in your favor, but something youÕve done holds them back from
trusting the facts in front of them. This is why demonstrating
competence is so important.
Demonstrating competence allows you to create a safe space
within the customerÕs unconscious. This is the important
emotional or interpersonal environment where every detail of your
interaction with the customer must reflect safety and support, if
you are to build deep trust.
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Over the last 30 years, customers have become much more
sales savvy. Many purchasing agents take the same public
sales training courses as salespeople. One individual I
know has a box with every standard close written down on
three-by-five cards. When he�s meeting with a new
salesperson and she uses one of the standard closes, he
opens the box, takes out the card, slides it across the table,
and tells her, Thats one; you have one more chance.
He�s not doing this to be mean. He just doesnt have time
for salespeople who are going to be using all of the old
sales techniques that have been used for the last 100
years. He wants to work with sales professionals who are
competent and are interested in helping him be successful.
Demonstrating Competence
If you had a doctorÕs appointment and the doctor met you at the
door and greeted you by name, you might be very impressed. If
he then showed you to a small reading room and pointed out the
medical reference books and said, ÒLook through these. When
youÕve discovered what your symptoms mean, come to my office
and IÕll write the appropriate prescription for you. Oh, by the way,
weÕre having a special on kidney transplants this week.Ó
How would you feel about the physician? What would you do next?
Requiring the customer to diagnose their own problem is not
professional selling. And prescription before diagnosis is medical
malpractice. It is also sales malpractice. Yet this is the way many
salespeople try to sell. They push product or service brochures
across the desk hoping that something will catch the customerÕs
eye. They donÕt do a thorough diagnosis. CCoommppeetteennccee iiss
ddeemmoonnssttrraatteedd bbyy tthhee qquuaalliittyy ooff qquueessttiioonnss yyoouu aasskk..
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© Gregory Stebbins Ed.D.PeopleSavvy
Demonstrating Competence: Guidelines
AAsskk qquuaalliittyy qquueessttiioonnss.. The more focused and specific you are when
asking questions, the more it will be clear to both the customerÕs
conscious and unconscious mind that you have prepared and are
meeting with the customer to find a way to help them.
Hazy and rambling questions around the customerÕs important
issues make you appear incompetent. If you notice the customer
getting fidgety or distracted, you have some good feedback that
your customer would rather be doing other things than talking
with you. In other words, you are not being perceived as helping
them and, thus, you apparently have no value to them.
(If you want to develop your skills in asking great questions, check
out SPIN Selling by Rackham, Solution Selling by Bosworth, or
Strategic Sellingby Miller and Heiman.)
LLeeaarrnn aaddvvaanncceedd lliisstteenniinngg sskkiillllss.. When we discussed compassion,
we referenced compassionate listening. To demonstrate competence,
there are three other listening skills that need to be applied. These are
comprehensive, discerning, and evaluative listening skills.
Comprehensive listenersare good at recognizing key points and
links between one point and another, even when the customerÕs
comm-unication is disorganized. You need to listen for how a
customer develops her arguments so that you can understand her
rationale. You may ask questions to clarify the customerÕs
intention. However, be clear on your questions so if an individual
does not understand what youÕve said, you can re-explain it in
terms she does understand.
Discerning listenerswant to make sure they have gathered
complete information. They do not assume facts that havenÕt been
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stated by the customer, even if making that logical leap might be
appropriate. You want to know what main issues and end-results
the customer desires.
Evaluative listenersare skeptical by nature. When a customer tells
them something, they will probe more deeply to understand what
is driving the issue inside the customerÕs business. They listen
intently, waiting for the customer to complete his thoughts and
presentation before suggesting a plan of action.
BBee aauutthheennttiicc.. Being yourself is critical to being perceived as
competent. If your customer sees you as a real, flesh-and-blood
human being with your own passions, frailties, and emotions,
they are much more likely to begin trusting you more deeply.
They will remember you as a whole person.
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© Gregory Stebbins Ed.D.PeopleSavvy
Deep Trust: Commitment
Every sales relationship is in a state of dynamic tension. That
tension is often created by three desired-end-results that may be at
odds with each other.
1. Your customer wants you to be committed to her.
2. Your company wants you to be committed to maximizing
the companyÕs profit.
3. You need to be committed to yourself.
ItÕs tough enough to serve two masters, let alone three.
I once consulted with a company whose salespeople
needed to persuade three different parties before booking
a sale. They of course had to (1) sell to the customer. They
also had to (2) sell to their own companys finance office to
satisfy that departments demand that customers meet
their requirements of financial viability. And, finally, they
had to (3) sell to their own companys manufacturing